“Healer” A Prose Poetry by Nicola An

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“Healer”

Just when I thought I’ve forgotten the scars I took in my flesh and my shadow from yesteryears, a clean start looks like it is about ready to be tainted. I’m afraid I’ve been so used to getting hurt, I’ve acquired an incurable addiction to heartache

The qualms that deter for it’s clearly presumed that remembrance is time’s gift whether we like it or not, gone does not mean forgotten

As my heart sings again, an echo of its previous songs remains in the background but should this be about what I try to hear again or what I audibly hear at the moment?

The world says you can’t love again unless your heart has completely healed but isn’t loving again the only way to heal a pained love?What if it’s the right person you prayed for, you don’t need to appear all new and sound that maybe only in these moments of living loving you do I get the complete healing I deserve?

Now I understand why I still felt broken no matter how I greatly took care of myself. Like a true love’s kiss made to break a curse, maybe you’re the exact antidote to treat my heart, the healer that Love wanted me to wait for…[hopefully]

-art and words by Nicola An

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Aloneness

creative writing, literary, literature, love, photo, photography, poetry, popular, prose, spiritual, Uncategorized, writing

Getting on with life through moments and chances, seeing and feeling what is necessary and what is provided, gladly taking in everything that is already there and yet glimpsing at an occasional episode of a disquieting thought like a shrill of warning piercing you inside. By and by, some things make an abrupt landing on your shoulders, one is when you surrender to the realization that what if what you have been greatly mastering leads you to failing, your comfort ccollapsing?


Such is the case for someone who has continuously earned the solitary days. Along the journey of finding bliss in solitude, getting so used to both inner and outer self while allowing the HEART to beat and the SOUL to search, I am bound to fear the confidence of aloneness, that this being all composed and distant where I stand still appreciating the gloom, I might miss what’s waiting for me behind the fog; which part of the world I must tend and nurture because as long as the skies whisper, there is somewhere that asks me to listen.

Life is always so clever teaching that what you highly gain turns out to instigate your pitfall. Maybe I have been too much at healing myself, I have forgotten that to love myself more is to manifest that love where it also belongs

– Nicola An

Letter of Apology to Divine Love

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Dear Love,

Please forgive this heart, forgive my current situation, the sudden panic and confusion.

Please forgive me for the bitter words I threw at your name, for what you were in the world at that moment.

Please forgive me for pushing Love away just because it kept pulling you closer to me.

Please forgive my impatience, for letting myself give in to my human weaknesses.

Please forgive me for ever saying that I hated you the most in this world just because I cannot run away from you even if I wanted to forget you ever happened to me.

Please forgive me that I’m still going to let myself down for a while, that I am not strong enough yet to keep fighting for this Love, for turning my back on this Light.

But know that I can’t breathe well, my heart is hurting in ways that I find fatal that I am getting sick, though I am completely sticking to this weakness, I know I will survive soon for your Divine Love will always hold me.

Oh sweet Soul, forgive this heart for being tired of this world.
I love you still

-Infinitely,

your Divine Love in the third dimension

A Whisper of Positivity 

buddhism, creative writing, literary, literature, love, poetry, prose, spiritual, words, writer, writing

If you are weary, scared and shattered, I hope this can help:
Acknowledging that there is Oneness,it’s impossible not to empathize, it’s real frustrating, affecting a feeling of being so powerless. I’ve been trying to make every tragic news fall on my deaf ears but the more resilient you are, the more you get pushed and the last straw is when the “opposite of the light” is well aware of your weakness, it takes one incident to eventuate your fall. Sometimes the way to the light is quite wobbly, I won’t sugarcoat spirituality.It is a SILENT BATTLE UNSEEN. I know that some of you can comprehend, and some only read this with immediate confusion and even a flicker of unfavorable impression;nevertheless,I believe that we all dream of salvation, redemption, peace…of heaven even here on #earth because we all have hopes and goals,chased or ignored.It is our purpose to look forward to happier beginnings so we can go back to paradise we’ve been told we came from and only when we choose the good, do the good and SEE the good can we return HOME.If you want to consider the “bad”, yes! It’s the “opposite of the light” taunting and daunting you so you will surrender to its darkness but please, this is the best moment to look at things as the Higher Power’s test how adamant you are when it comes to fulfilling what drives you to reaching your higher self!Just because it’s not safe anywhere doesn’t mean you stay shut and immobile, get out, the world is for adventures.Just because they say the end is near doesn’t mean you end your quest for bliss, every single day is full of forever! Just because people punish and kill doesn’t mean no one can be trusted and no one deserves forgiveness, an act of strong compassion always makes a HEART beat. Just because atrocity is omnipresent and viral doesn’t mean TRUE LOVE is hard to be found, what isn’t easily attained is always worth the fight! 

Do not decorate your own deathbed by giving up living.Remember that everything is a test of #FAITH.

-Infinitely,Nicola An

Happy Valentine’s Day 

literary, literature, love, photography, poem, poetess, poetry, words, writer, writing

Shorter version of a #poem I wrote almost 4 years ago; just happened to visit my first online #poetry account the other day and found this, sublimity and #bliss washed over me when I read it again[I even forgot I wrote this piece] and thought of sharing it this #Valentines Day. I hope #TRUELOVE finds you! 💖

-Infinitely,

Nicola An

LOVE POEMS GIVEAWAY BY NICOLA AN- DOWNLOAD POEMS FOR FREE!

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Hello gods and goddesses of Love! As I promised to my adamant heart, I am sharing a FREE DOWNLOAD of selected pages from “The Universe at Heartbeat” entitled “Love in Light” as a pre-Valentine’s day giveaway, I couldn’t find any better way to celebrate it with you. Hopefully I can touch hearts. TO DOWNLOAD: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6a6XD07J2hWQnNwTXdsNlIxekk/view . You are also free to share it to your loved ones and friends if you wish to!!! Or if you want to give it as a simple gift to someone special!!! Believe in Love, thank you and stay inspired!

Infinitely,
Nicola An

12:21

creative writing, literary, literature, love, poetess, poetry, prose, spiritual, words, writer

Who was I but a clumsy child in love, tripping and falling down on the ground, watering the poor grass with tears made of defeat and hopelessness. Days and nights were both a total blackout when I used to stare at the sky and the moon and the stars had a torturous sight of melancholy that made all my smiles unreachable.

I always thought that the greatest love was to feel and endure it for someone who didn’t have the clue about it, that waiting for years was the best to remain in pain, I never ever saw that there was something more powerful. All those desperate days of looking at a distant horizon was not just a dream of a far away destiny but a searching for the beyond.

How beautiful, how supernal it is to suddenly find yourself by seeing someone you didn’t realize you’re looking for but felt a sense of coming back to where you just left and what you’ve forgotten all this time. Like your eyes laid on such view of existence and you can hear your voice in your head asking “where did I last see you?”, it’s as if there’s just a brief interval before you met that person once again. 

You even wonder why the hell they’re pulling your inside and you told yourself “if only we knew each other but maybe we should really know each other”, at a single moment of something you vaguely identify is stirring up and you cannot quite settle down with the present reality that you’re not together, that there is a brewing madness in you oddly resenting your separation and differences- you know the face before you even learn the name. 

It’s when you catch a butterfly scene and you want to chase it until it flies back to you because it’s supposed to happen even if it is a new type of a butterfly in the meadow you had not seen before, then in a tiny blink it seems to be the one you’ve always had the pleasure of watching albeit hardly remembering when.

I’ve always construed that love was just a troubling and confusing condition of the heart, the enormous palpitations, and now it’s all clear and wide-open to me that it’s the soul’s journey of returning home, taking back what was lost many lives ago.

To be too broken was to be vulnerable so you could be receptive and resilient enough when the right path knocks on your door no matter how frightening the circumstances will be because even what’s right will have flaws and drawbacks.

They say you cannoy love someone when you do not love yourself but sometimes you just instantly and finally find that someone whose existence grandly inspires you to love yourself more than you ever did before even if they aren’t doing anything-an effortless pouring of grace.

One day, the sun shines brighter, being brand new and full of life. You may wonder and ponder until you rely on the possibility that LOVE truly is a mysterious phenomenon you simply accept and be your infinite faith.

This is just the beginning…
-Nicola An