Poetry is a personal commitment, and even more than that and for a poet to abandon poetry is death. I confess that I almost extinguished that fire in me, one time I just thought of forgetting about my scribbles,journals and random prompts. The truth is, the past months, my words were kind of lost in translation whenever I started to feel the need to write them down because maybe I had been confused as life turned a new leaf. Two years ago,a major shift took place in my Spiritual journey, Love being silent but not quite lenient,thinking about it now,it seems as though it happened like a second ago. The Universe just did everything needed to save me from the false dreams I couldn’t wake up from, they were just shadows leading me to return to my true light. It was grueling having to break again, to accept the disappointment and let go, close a chapter and so I felt crippled inside. The changes caused me to clear my thoughts and wipe my stained heart clean as I was beginning to see even wider horizons.Then came a year when I had a professional pursuit to fulfill that I had to lay off creative writing, and given a special day, 5th of July last year,I succeeded in that pursuit which called for a major adjustment. Days,weeks and months went that I was juggling responsibilities/priorities while I was working on myself as synchronicities arrived intensely. It was exhausting to feel yourself in different places that you wish you can hibernate.I couldn’t write anything the way that should please me because although I was whole, I felt drained, my words were stranded somewhere. Fortunately, Love is love and you can never run away from your heart.I believe awakening being a constant process, it will always come to a period of redesigning and rebuilding you, you know there’s always room for something new. Now, thank you for being there in my life, thank you for allowing my heart to beat. Here’s to a lifetime of poems!
Just when I thought I’ve forgotten the scars I took in my flesh and my shadow from yesteryears, a clean start looks like it is about ready to be tainted. I’m afraid I’ve been so used to getting hurt, I’ve acquired an incurable addiction to heartache
The qualms that deter for it’s clearly presumed that remembrance is time’s gift whether we like it or not, gone does not mean forgotten
As my heart sings again, an echo of its previous songs remains in the background but should this be about what I try to hear again or what I audibly hear at the moment?
The world says you can’t love again unless your heart has completely healed but isn’t loving again the only way to heal a pained love?What if it’s the right person you prayed for, you don’t need to appear all new and sound that maybe only in these moments of living loving you do I get the complete healing I deserve?
Now I understand why I still felt broken no matter how I greatly took care of myself. Like a true love’s kiss made to break a curse, maybe you’re the exact antidote to treat my heart, the healer that Love wanted me to wait for…[hopefully]
-art and words by Nicola An
Getting on with life through moments and chances, seeing and feeling what is necessary and what is provided, gladly taking in everything that is already there and yet glimpsing at an occasional episode of a disquieting thought like a shrill of warning piercing you inside. By and by, some things make an abrupt landing on your shoulders, one is when you surrender to the realization that what if what you have been greatly mastering leads you to failing, your comfort ccollapsing?
Such is the case for someone who has continuously earned the solitary days. Along the journey of finding bliss in solitude, getting so used to both inner and outer self while allowing the HEART to beat and the SOUL to search, I am bound to fear the confidence of aloneness, that this being all composed and distant where I stand still appreciating the gloom, I might miss what’s waiting for me behind the fog; which part of the world I must tend and nurture because as long as the skies whisper, there is somewhere that asks me to listen.
Life is always so clever teaching that what you highly gain turns out to instigate your pitfall. Maybe I have been too much at healing myself, I have forgotten that to love myself more is to manifest that love where it also belongs
– Nicola An
To all the MOTHERS and WOMEN with a heart carved out of jewels, thank you for your lesson that gifts come from enduring pain, by this the world learns to see the roses over the thorns. HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY QUEENS AND GODDESSES 🌻👸💃
Woman, the #Universe bows before you; you are clothed with light, a body etched with luminaries-every scar, ever blemish,every deformity, every damage for a true queen isn’t a skin-deep perfection but a spiritual masterpiece best rising through recognized flaws.
Most of all, you are a warrior, do not plead the world on weak knees, let it lean against your armor, and tell yourself henceforth that you are capable of anything in life for you are the ultimate vessel of life!
PEACE, for you to be free from all the fears and anxieties facing uncertainties and bigger dreams!
LOVE, for you to be healed and to heal everybody else to nurture the world constantly with pure happiness!
ABUNDANCE, for you to believe that you are capable of anything and to always see the coming of good things by always choosing to do good.
HAPPY NEW YEAR! Never forget to be thankful 😊
Also remember,you are the vast, infinite universe 🌌
Yesterday,I was overflowing with mirth being able to run some errands across the island without having the pain of fighting for a consent, been blessed to be working for a boss who also encourages capabilities not only as an employee but as an individual.
It was a spontaneous task but it was a grand idea I fully accepted. While traveling alone is almost a mundane routine to some, to me it was a rare opportunity; being the youngest sometimes feels strangling when trusting your growth to be independent lags behind, it is understood that parents can’t easily let go especially when you become the “last one left”-this teaches me to no longer resent.
But for whatever reason I made it yesterday, thank you for that one day, freedom isn’t wanting to run away at all, it is returning to existence, solitude is the only path to true consciousness, sometimes you just have to walk your own footsteps then you’ll be surprised ’cause only when you walk alone you can pay attention.
Never knew that it was possible to just wander without feeling lost, to exist without fears. Thank you,thank you,thank you!
A #christmaswishlist : WORLD PEACE. Though you may say it’s a folly to wish for it and it’s a swollen righteousness of oneself to ask for it, I would still dare affirm that we can achieve it. Let’s not only talk about the ceasefire, the safety from mass killing and freedom from slavery, let’s look at our basic destructive ways of how we mostly live now which commence the torrent of violence and torture. We are oblivious, in denial as we subconsciously refuse to acknowledge our involvement in wars and ruins. The oneness of our existence despite the diversity aims to nurture the world;therefore, we connect in every aspect,every phase and every form. This is a wish for #worldpeace through the end of your resentments-our anger and collective defensiveness to generate #love and eliminate spite. Remember that you are an #energy, a contagious and influential force, be an #energy of peace! The #earth is a vulnerable thing, it yields to what you offer.
Merry Christmas, have faith in your #light 🌌 🌌 -Yours truly,Nicola An
A page from “The Universe at Heartbeat” by yours truly, Nicola An:
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