12:21

creative writing, literary, literature, love, poetess, poetry, prose, spiritual, words, writer

Who was I but a clumsy child in love, tripping and falling down on the ground, watering the poor grass with tears made of defeat and hopelessness. Days and nights were both a total blackout when I used to stare at the sky and the moon and the stars had a torturous sight of melancholy that made all my smiles unreachable.

I always thought that the greatest love was to feel and endure it for someone who didn’t have the clue about it, that waiting for years was the best to remain in pain, I never ever saw that there was something more powerful. All those desperate days of looking at a distant horizon was not just a dream of a far away destiny but a searching for the beyond.

How beautiful, how supernal it is to suddenly find yourself by seeing someone you didn’t realize you’re looking for but felt a sense of coming back to where you just left and what you’ve forgotten all this time. Like your eyes laid on such view of existence and you can hear your voice in your head asking “where did I last see you?”, it’s as if there’s just a brief interval before you met that person once again. 

You even wonder why the hell they’re pulling your inside and you told yourself “if only we knew each other but maybe we should really know each other”, at a single moment of something you vaguely identify is stirring up and you cannot quite settle down with the present reality that you’re not together, that there is a brewing madness in you oddly resenting your separation and differences- you know the face before you even learn the name. 

It’s when you catch a butterfly scene and you want to chase it until it flies back to you because it’s supposed to happen even if it is a new type of a butterfly in the meadow you had not seen before, then in a tiny blink it seems to be the one you’ve always had the pleasure of watching albeit hardly remembering when.

I’ve always construed that love was just a troubling and confusing condition of the heart, the enormous palpitations, and now it’s all clear and wide-open to me that it’s the soul’s journey of returning home, taking back what was lost many lives ago.

To be too broken was to be vulnerable so you could be receptive and resilient enough when the right path knocks on your door no matter how frightening the circumstances will be because even what’s right will have flaws and drawbacks.

They say you cannoy love someone when you do not love yourself but sometimes you just instantly and finally find that someone whose existence grandly inspires you to love yourself more than you ever did before even if they aren’t doing anything-an effortless pouring of grace.

One day, the sun shines brighter, being brand new and full of life. You may wonder and ponder until you rely on the possibility that LOVE truly is a mysterious phenomenon you simply accept and be your infinite faith.

This is just the beginning…
-Nicola An 

Advertisements

11-16-’16

creative writing, literary, literature, love, photography, poetry, writing

Wednesday Poetry

“Courage”

It is courage to dream alone,

It is courage to trust the unknown

It is courage to care for the heartless,

It is courage to praise those you can’t impress

It is courage to laugh at your untimely blunder

It is courage to leave what you can’t alter

It is courage to understand who misjudges your being

It is courage to commit without needing to cling

It is courage to be honored by your flaws

It is courage to thank your every loss

It is courage to give when you have so little

It is courage to believe everything is possible

It takes strength and pure courage to find true love-allowing your heart to be still-

In a world that only knows peril

-Yours truly, Nicola An

WEDNESDAY Poetry

creative writing, literary, literature, photography, poem, poetess, poetry, Uncategorized, words, writer, writing

image

She perceived it as light at first sight, like the morning was made

to rescue her from the perennial, sleepless nights, and like when

she was frozen down a pitch black hole and squinted at the sliver of

a sunbeam;

and then she said he wore white,

exactly looking like an angel,

for a short moment that seemed to last, her life depended on just

staring at him

She believed she’d already seen him but wished they’d met before

She saw a new scene of an instant memory

Her heart recalls it was the beginning, but her soul knew

it was returning to something-

something that’s always been with her time

 

-Yours truly

People and Books

creative writing, literary, literature, love, mainstream, novel, photography, poetry, popular, prose, Uncategorized, words, writer, writng

book.jpg

 

Sometimes I look at books the way I look at people, some titles conjure a sunny memory, some covers attract a piece in my soul, some written summaries pierce my core. Too many, too confusing, full of drama and yet I know every story is a good read for a book won’t be published if it’s not meant to tell the world a journey.
So you, yes you, you were made to be in this shelf, this beautiful circular shelf you are free to breathe and fall for such an endless period of gravity. It does not matter if you aren’t placed on the top or right where you can be easily spotted.
You are here to tell a story, soon someone will grab you and you will make them laugh and cry and they will wish your pages will not reach the end like they will never want to lose you-this is how you will be loved eternally.

 

-Yours truly

“The Universe at Heartbeat” by Nicola An [Poetry Book]

buddhism, creative writing, literary, literature, mainstream, poem, poetess, poetry, popular, spiritual, Uncategorized, words, writer, writng

 

kindle.png

“a testimony made through poetry and prose that tells a young journey of an old soul conveying love as the utmost life of the universe; this book is ours”

Link to purchase: Shelf

Preview of the book: BOOK TRAILER

NOTE:

While I’m working on my final requirement to publish in paperback, I also make my first poetry book available in kindle . To those who wish to have a company in times of self-discovery, fighting for their dreams, having a hard time loving and even in times when they are the hopefully hopeless romantic type, I am one with you all. I bleed words for you. The universe is always with you whatever that journey you’re leading on your own!

Much love and gratitude,

Nicola An

 

Because Love is Giving

Uncategorized

image

Sometimes when you love, you love so much that you forget the unfortunate circumstances. You cannot notice the barricades that were actually visible in the first place, always ready to raise their hands and slap you altogether .

Love is supposed to be given,it’s the basic free thing. But love does not know the way most of the time , it doesn’t have the detailed map or concrete instructions. Love also walks alone most of the time, and it walks where it is dark. Dark because of the things unseen and unpredictable, yet love is that torch we carry with us, the sole light.

Sadly to some people loving in silence and from afar, remind yourself that you can love someone so much but it is not up to you whether they break your heart or not especially when they do not know about it.

However, if you truly love-like what you feel is inarguably true love- you will not take the heartbreak as a curse, if anything, you will take it as a deeper reason and proof how much you love the person. You eventually love more.

Again, love is supposed to be given and I do think that the act of giving only serves its value when it does not know when and how to stop.

-Yours truly
Papermush08
11/06/’15