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A Whisper of Positivity 

If you are weary, scared and shattered, I hope this can help:
Acknowledging that there is Oneness,it’s impossible not to empathize, it’s real frustrating, affecting a feeling of being so powerless. I’ve been trying to make every tragic news fall on my deaf ears but the more resilient you are, the more you get pushed and the last straw is when the “opposite of the light” is well aware of your weakness, it takes one incident to eventuate your fall. Sometimes the way to the light is quite wobbly, I won’t sugarcoat spirituality.It is a SILENT BATTLE UNSEEN. I know that some of you can comprehend, and some only read this with immediate confusion and even a flicker of unfavorable impression;nevertheless,I believe that we all dream of salvation, redemption, peace…of heaven even here on #earth because we all have hopes and goals,chased or ignored.It is our purpose to look forward to happier beginnings so we can go back to paradise we’ve been told we came from and only when we choose the good, do the good and SEE the good can we return HOME.If you want to consider the “bad”, yes! It’s the “opposite of the light” taunting and daunting you so you will surrender to its darkness but please, this is the best moment to look at things as the Higher Power’s test how adamant you are when it comes to fulfilling what drives you to reaching your higher self!Just because it’s not safe anywhere doesn’t mean you stay shut and immobile, get out, the world is for adventures.Just because they say the end is near doesn’t mean you end your quest for bliss, every single day is full of forever! Just because people punish and kill doesn’t mean no one can be trusted and no one deserves forgiveness, an act of strong compassion always makes a HEART beat. Just because atrocity is omnipresent and viral doesn’t mean TRUE LOVE is hard to be found, what isn’t easily attained is always worth the fight! 

Do not decorate your own deathbed by giving up living.Remember that everything is a test of #FAITH.

-Infinitely,Nicola An

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Happy Valentine’s Day 

Shorter version of a #poem I wrote almost 4 years ago; just happened to visit my first online #poetry account the other day and found this, sublimity and #bliss washed over me when I read it again[I even forgot I wrote this piece] and thought of sharing it this #Valentines Day. I hope #TRUELOVE finds you! 💖

-Infinitely,

Nicola An

creative writing · literary · literature · love · poem · poetess · poetry · popular · spiritual · words · writer · writng

Watch “”Brightest One” -Spoken Word Poetry by NICOLA AN” on YouTube, link below:

“Brightest One”-Spoken Word Poetry by Nicola An 

KINDLY READ:Happy to finally have this output before we jump another year,I’ve always wanted to do this but to record properly had been rigorous. Since I fortunately made it at this time,let this be my gratitude for this year 2016, that this #book stepped out of the shadows to share the light of love. Thank you,thank you,thank you to my followers,likers,random readers, friends,supporters,families,inspirations for giving me the courage. In all honesty, I know this is just a small start but you all bless me with optimism and faith to do what’s relentlessly shaping my heart and soul. Looking forward to sharing what the universe has in store with you all. Thank you,thank you,thank you beautiful existence! I sure do love every one of you 😘🌌 -Infinitely, Nicola An

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To Wander Without Feeling Lost 

Yesterday,I was overflowing with mirth being able to run some errands across the island without having the pain of fighting for a consent, been blessed to be working for a boss who also encourages capabilities not only as an employee but as an individual.

It was a spontaneous task but it was a grand idea I fully accepted. While traveling alone is almost a mundane routine to some, to me it was a rare opportunity; being the youngest sometimes feels strangling when trusting your growth to be independent lags behind, it is understood that parents can’t easily let go especially when you become the “last one left”-this teaches me to no longer resent.

But for whatever reason I made it yesterday, thank you for that one day, freedom isn’t wanting to run away at all, it is returning to existence, solitude is the only path to true consciousness, sometimes you just have to walk your own footsteps then you’ll be surprised ’cause only when you walk alone you can pay attention.

Never knew that it was possible to just wander without feeling lost, to exist without fears. Thank you,thank you,thank you!

-Infinitely,

Nicola An

buddhism · creative writing · literary · literature · love · photo · photography · poem · poetess · poetry · spiritual · words · writer · writing

Christmas Wish

A #christmaswishlist : WORLD PEACE. Though you may say it’s a folly to wish for it and it’s a swollen righteousness of oneself to ask for it, I would still dare affirm that we can achieve it. Let’s not only talk about the ceasefire, the safety from mass killing and freedom from slavery, let’s look at our basic destructive ways of how we mostly live now which commence the torrent of violence and torture. We are oblivious, in denial as we subconsciously refuse to acknowledge our involvement in wars and ruins. The oneness of our existence despite the diversity aims to nurture the world;therefore, we connect in every aspect,every phase and every form. This is a wish for #worldpeace through the end of your resentments-our anger and collective defensiveness to generate #love and eliminate spite. Remember that you are an #energy, a contagious and influential force, be an #energy of peace! The #earth is a vulnerable thing, it yields to what you offer. 

Merry Christmas, have faith in your #light 🌌 🌌 -Yours truly,Nicola An

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12:21

Who was I but a clumsy child in love, tripping and falling down on the ground, watering the poor grass with tears made of defeat and hopelessness. Days and nights were both a total blackout when I used to stare at the sky and the moon and the stars had a torturous sight of melancholy that made all my smiles unreachable.

I always thought that the greatest love was to feel and endure it for someone who didn’t have the clue about it, that waiting for years was the best to remain in pain, I never ever saw that there was something more powerful. All those desperate days of looking at a distant horizon was not just a dream of a far away destiny but a searching for the beyond.

How beautiful, how supernal it is to suddenly find yourself by seeing someone you didn’t realize you’re looking for but felt a sense of coming back to where you just left and what you’ve forgotten all this time. Like your eyes laid on such view of existence and you can hear your voice in your head asking “where did I last see you?”, it’s as if there’s just a brief interval before you met that person once again. 

You even wonder why the hell they’re pulling your inside and you told yourself “if only we knew each other but maybe we should really know each other”, at a single moment of something you vaguely identify is stirring up and you cannot quite settle down with the present reality that you’re not together, that there is a brewing madness in you oddly resenting your separation and differences- you know the face before you even learn the name. 

It’s when you catch a butterfly scene and you want to chase it until it flies back to you because it’s supposed to happen even if it is a new type of a butterfly in the meadow you had not seen before, then in a tiny blink it seems to be the one you’ve always had the pleasure of watching albeit hardly remembering when.

I’ve always construed that love was just a troubling and confusing condition of the heart, the enormous palpitations, and now it’s all clear and wide-open to me that it’s the soul’s journey of returning home, taking back what was lost many lives ago.

To be too broken was to be vulnerable so you could be receptive and resilient enough when the right path knocks on your door no matter how frightening the circumstances will be because even what’s right will have flaws and drawbacks.

They say you cannoy love someone when you do not love yourself but sometimes you just instantly and finally find that someone whose existence grandly inspires you to love yourself more than you ever did before even if they aren’t doing anything-an effortless pouring of grace.

One day, the sun shines brighter, being brand new and full of life. You may wonder and ponder until you rely on the possibility that LOVE truly is a mysterious phenomenon you simply accept and be your infinite faith.

This is just the beginning…
-Nicola An 

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Writing Dilemma

It is a quietly disturbing dilemma; there is a sudden point when you shun your routine or habit though it’s been your shoulder to lean on.I still haven’t claimed being a “writer” despite writing on a regular basis. 

Sometimes they look up because you are a “mountain of difficult words and aesthetic language”, sometimes they degrade ’cause you are a “wretched soul with a head full of old-fashioned mush”,worse when their game is making judgments such as you’re acting as if you’re better than anyone,and you’re just trying to be a worldwide preacher.It is good to be listened to,a human pleasure.But to be a “writer” is to be just a singer because you can sing a song, a painter ’cause you can run the brush across the canvas.It’s a risk to write down and when one writes it’s not a mastery of words.In my case,never been outspoken and there are things that take sitting down for a period of time until you’re making sense so you take down the notes from your own contemplation, and I’ve come to be aware that maybe #socialmedia has been dominating, we’re too stolen by the wanting of immediate exposure. Lately,I’ve been doubting if I’m writing for myself still while discussing the eruption of happenings keeping me hungry for answers, or for people who identify me as the “writer”,you know the substance of something loses when it becomes an object to attract attention. Oh God,don’t know where I walk here,just wanna say I am afraid my journey is beginning to get shallow when what I do is falling into the ego’s childish interest.I am uncomfortable thinking that it will be just the words and flowery construction readers will be after,then I guess it is just the pressure from expectations and anxiety about what they make out of who you are by what you tell. Yet I rely also on the idea that there are people out somewhere who need solutions and lessons, those who seek the same clarity and awakening…

*Sighs* I think I am torn between wishing to reach out and wanting to rest away from the distorted verdict of the world.

-Nicola An