“Soul Song” by Nicola An 

creative writing, literary, literature, mainstream, poem, poetess, poetry, prose, spiritual, Uncategorized

My second book entitled “Soul Song” will be available soon. Thank you for the gift of Divine Love

International Women’s Day

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#internationalwomensday

Woman, the #Universe bows before you; you are clothed with light, a body etched with luminaries-every scar, ever blemish,every deformity, every damage for a true queen isn’t a skin-deep perfection but a spiritual masterpiece best rising through recognized flaws.

Most of all, you are a warrior, do not plead the world on weak knees, let it lean against your armor, and tell yourself henceforth that you are capable of anything in life for you are the ultimate vessel of life!

-Infinitely,

Nicola An

To Wander Without Feeling Lost 

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Yesterday,I was overflowing with mirth being able to run some errands across the island without having the pain of fighting for a consent, been blessed to be working for a boss who also encourages capabilities not only as an employee but as an individual.

It was a spontaneous task but it was a grand idea I fully accepted. While traveling alone is almost a mundane routine to some, to me it was a rare opportunity; being the youngest sometimes feels strangling when trusting your growth to be independent lags behind, it is understood that parents can’t easily let go especially when you become the “last one left”-this teaches me to no longer resent.

But for whatever reason I made it yesterday, thank you for that one day, freedom isn’t wanting to run away at all, it is returning to existence, solitude is the only path to true consciousness, sometimes you just have to walk your own footsteps then you’ll be surprised ’cause only when you walk alone you can pay attention.

Never knew that it was possible to just wander without feeling lost, to exist without fears. Thank you,thank you,thank you!

-Infinitely,

Nicola An

12:21

creative writing, literary, literature, love, poetess, poetry, prose, spiritual, words, writer

Who was I but a clumsy child in love, tripping and falling down on the ground, watering the poor grass with tears made of defeat and hopelessness. Days and nights were both a total blackout when I used to stare at the sky and the moon and the stars had a torturous sight of melancholy that made all my smiles unreachable.

I always thought that the greatest love was to feel and endure it for someone who didn’t have the clue about it, that waiting for years was the best to remain in pain, I never ever saw that there was something more powerful. All those desperate days of looking at a distant horizon was not just a dream of a far away destiny but a searching for the beyond.

How beautiful, how supernal it is to suddenly find yourself by seeing someone you didn’t realize you’re looking for but felt a sense of coming back to where you just left and what you’ve forgotten all this time. Like your eyes laid on such view of existence and you can hear your voice in your head asking “where did I last see you?”, it’s as if there’s just a brief interval before you met that person once again. 

You even wonder why the hell they’re pulling your inside and you told yourself “if only we knew each other but maybe we should really know each other”, at a single moment of something you vaguely identify is stirring up and you cannot quite settle down with the present reality that you’re not together, that there is a brewing madness in you oddly resenting your separation and differences- you know the face before you even learn the name. 

It’s when you catch a butterfly scene and you want to chase it until it flies back to you because it’s supposed to happen even if it is a new type of a butterfly in the meadow you had not seen before, then in a tiny blink it seems to be the one you’ve always had the pleasure of watching albeit hardly remembering when.

I’ve always construed that love was just a troubling and confusing condition of the heart, the enormous palpitations, and now it’s all clear and wide-open to me that it’s the soul’s journey of returning home, taking back what was lost many lives ago.

To be too broken was to be vulnerable so you could be receptive and resilient enough when the right path knocks on your door no matter how frightening the circumstances will be because even what’s right will have flaws and drawbacks.

They say you cannoy love someone when you do not love yourself but sometimes you just instantly and finally find that someone whose existence grandly inspires you to love yourself more than you ever did before even if they aren’t doing anything-an effortless pouring of grace.

One day, the sun shines brighter, being brand new and full of life. You may wonder and ponder until you rely on the possibility that LOVE truly is a mysterious phenomenon you simply accept and be your infinite faith.

This is just the beginning…
-Nicola An 

Here

buddhism, creative writing, literary, love, photography, poetry, prose, spiritual, writer, writing

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I know that sometimes-or perhaps right now-the thought of somewhere on the other side you call “a better place” gives you the sole comfort, as though running away is always the answer. You look at the yonder horizon and wish for someplace else where no one knows you and everyone has sweeter words that are always music to your ears, where things hurt less and everything won’t be out of hand and against you,where you can stroll around or even run blithely without having to feel like you are a scene unwanted,where people have eyes to see your soul and not to look at how incorrigible the flaws you wear,and most of all where breathing and following your heart will be equally easy. Sure, there is a dream of an idyllic life, we always ask for the better, you hate it here because you don’t belong here so there must be a right place where you should be. You feel like a captive now in your own present life because you are still here and freedom seems to be so far away- these are all because you just want to escape.Do not cheat on your  fate. Do you know why you are here?

Because everything is already here, you are here because you belong here. Where you are is where you belong and where you are called to serve the world, even the aged tree knows it stays where it was planted because for decades it remains as the nearest tree where people run to whenever it rains.

It’s the process of life not only for yourself but for others as well.
Wanting to be away from here to be “there” is the torture, you are half present and half absent. No one can walk properly with feet apart.

-Yours truly

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Pure Bliss

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It’s not the first time it happened to me, it’s like you would basically make a “shoutout” about it or display a frenzied reaction as if you just won a million dollar but you got caught by a moment of steadiness and daze.

The world suddenly stopped its motion and you heard nothing anymore, you became the only one existing and you’re in total trance.

I guess that’s pure bliss, the essence of truth, that bliss spiritually- experienced humans would define as something you can’t actually define, something that no word can explain nor express.

You stared into space instead and knew that inside you there was a pit of this certain happiness, maybe you didn’t have to tell everyone. Maybe when it was for you, all you had to do was to know that it was really there because you were the only one who had the power to realize what to do about it and that no one can take it from you

-Nicola An

01-31-’16

buddhism, creative writing, Uncategorized

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The absence of desire is the emergence of true wealth; maybe it is like trying to understand a conundrum to believe that the best way to our greatest treasure is when we devoid ourselves of wants and whims, but it is one of the highest attainments we could ever reach. We are always after something, we depend our fulfillment and reasons to live on these things that we lack not realizing that chasing them is what intensifies the lacking. Let go of the aching, of wanting so much. Anyway we eventually move closer to another fear, the fear of losing when we begin to own. Simply appreciate what is present, love everything and turn away from the thought of loss and hunger, you aren’t really there. You belong where there is nothing to strive so hard for, where you do not slave away because you are meant to be the master of your realm.


-Yours truly


Nicola An

Bloom

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Didn’t see it coming but tonight I suddenly felt something had opened inside me, a calm tidal wave seemed to brought something up, a bud started to bloom like a child has awoken from the womb slumber. I couldn’t really tell what it was but that I stepped into another room the universe had waited for me to explore. I totally just stood without anything to pull me down, fears didn’t intimidate me and I kept looking forward to anything.
I  couldn’t define what happened no matter how poetic my thoughts are but even if words run out of words, I pray to feel this way every single day.

07.23.’15

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If you wanna be alive, start by touching the constant weight of the earth: the gravity. Remember that no matter who you are and where you are at the moment of your life, surround yourself with thoughts that could only lift you up and never ever let anything or anyone make you fall back into the ground if you’ve fought enough to raise your being, you are the one living your life for you.
-Yours truly