June Energy Reading

cartomancy, creative writing, Esoteric, love, photography, tarot, twin flames, words, writing

Welcome new moon!
These cards are staring at you with a friendly warning 😆 the swords reversed are actually raising a challenge! Your mind and your heart need to agree on behaving properly *laughs*
It’s best not to be too defensive and impulsive when you’re placed at the center of criticism, be it a squabble or a serious case,be circumspect before you speak out and make sure to speak from a clear point of view,NOT A CLOUDED JUDGEMENT and make room for your emotions to settle while handling a conflict/misunderstanding.But.Come to think of it as you versus someone/something, this may not just be you being antagonized, you might fall into your ego’s trap that you end up rubbing other people the wrong way.
Feed your mind with healthy thoughts and control your emotions, let LOVE be your basis when looking for resolutions, but remember that you can avoid conflicts, just decorate your heart and mind in positive ways! And oh my mother’s blooming rose wants to say “I love you” 🌹 -Love and Crystal Light 🌟
Nicola An

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“Cleaving”

creative writing, Esoteric, love, poetry, prose, self-awareness, self-love, spiritual, words, writer, writing

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Looking at old photographs, I feel entirely estranged from a familiar time. It’s like I was always borrowed by something against my will. Bleak skies and suffocating pitch-black walls I can picture out making me cringe. As I see myself now, a fresh painting with warm colors that every loving smile I wear can emulate the sight of the sun peeking at dawn, all those old photographs are such a distant,forgotten dream. Although I may ask again if we really do forget because after all,we’re made to live through our memories but just because we’re haunted doesn’t mean we should be scared.

Becoming isn’t about putting on a new self but rather, unveiling your true self. As far as being spiritually grown, I am well aware of what I was and what I still am. Sure, I have forgiven the ways I had punished myself and understood the wounds that had to teach me my biggest lessons, nights and mornings have gotten along well with me, still and serene in between and that I have learned to dance despite the unpleasant music I sometimes have to face, there come those moments when I feel awfully alone, I sit down with the same emotions calling me out as though the little devil that used to feed me lies is creeping up again, and yet for what must be a poking miracle, I can easily brush off that unwanted presence and see the brighter reality in a single blink. I know that I can be the old me and at the same time, different from that person.

You, recognizing the slave and the master in yourself can be achieved when you allow this awakening to take over all that you’ve ever been. There will always be an aching in you, hunger and loss will still greet you venomously that you may feel your past resurfacing– this total relapse gobbling you bit by bit.

See? Like always, you fall and break but the good news is you don’t pick up those broken pieces anymore to collect and keep them but to immediately throw them away. You are both inside and outside of yourself, the one who breaks and the true Self that watches and patches up everything for you.

Remember this whenever you feel alone.Looking at old photographs, I feel entirely estranged from a familiar time. It’s like I was always borrowed by something against my will. Bleak skies and suffocating pitch-black walls I can picture out making me cringe. As I see myself now, a fresh painting with warm colors that every loving smile I wear can emulate the sight of the sun peeking at dawn, all those old photographs are such a distant,forgotten dream. Although I may ask again if we really do forget because after all,we’re made to live through our memories but just because we’re haunted doesn’t mean we should be scared.

Becoming isn’t about putting on a new self but rather, unveiling your true self. As far as being spiritually grown, I am well aware of what I was and what I still am. Sure, I have forgiven the ways I had punished myself and understood the wounds that had to teach me my biggest lessons, nights and mornings have gotten along well with me, still and serene in between and that I have learned to dance despite the unpleasant music I sometimes have to face, there come those moments when I feel awfully alone, I sit down with the same emotions calling me out as though the little devil that used to feed me lies is creeping up again, and yet for what must be a poking miracle, I can easily brush off that unwanted presence and see the brighter reality in a single blink. I know that I can be the old me and at the same time, different form that person.

You, recognizing the slave and the master in yourself can be achieved when you allow this awakening to take over all that you’ve ever been. There will always be an aching in you, hunger and loss will still greet you venomously that you may feel your past resurfacing– this total relapse gobbling you bit by bit.

See? Like always, you fall and break but the good news is you don’t pick up those broken pieces anymore to collect and keep them but to immediately throw them away. You are both inside and outside of yourself, the one who breaks and the true Self that watches and patches up everything for you.

Remember this whenever you feel alone.

 

-Nicola An

 

Aloneness

creative writing, literary, literature, love, photo, photography, poetry, popular, prose, spiritual, writing

Getting on with life through moments and chances, seeing and feeling what is necessary and what is provided, gladly taking in everything that is already there and yet glimpsing at an occasional episode of a disquieting thought like a shrill of warning piercing you inside. By and by, some things make an abrupt landing on your shoulders, one is when you surrender to the realization that what if what you have been greatly mastering leads you to failing, your comfort ccollapsing?


Such is the case for someone who has continuously earned the solitary days. Along the journey of finding bliss in solitude, getting so used to both inner and outer self while allowing the HEART to beat and the SOUL to search, I am bound to fear the confidence of aloneness, that this being all composed and distant where I stand still appreciating the gloom, I might miss what’s waiting for me behind the fog; which part of the world I must tend and nurture because as long as the skies whisper, there is somewhere that asks me to listen.

Life is always so clever teaching that what you highly gain turns out to instigate your pitfall. Maybe I have been too much at healing myself, I have forgotten that to love myself more is to manifest that love where it also belongs

– Nicola An

A Whisper of Positivity 

buddhism, creative writing, literary, literature, love, poetry, prose, spiritual, words, writer, writing

If you are weary, scared and shattered, I hope this can help:
Acknowledging that there is Oneness,it’s impossible not to empathize, it’s real frustrating, affecting a feeling of being so powerless. I’ve been trying to make every tragic news fall on my deaf ears but the more resilient you are, the more you get pushed and the last straw is when the “opposite of the light” is well aware of your weakness, it takes one incident to eventuate your fall. Sometimes the way to the light is quite wobbly, I won’t sugarcoat spirituality.It is a SILENT BATTLE UNSEEN. I know that some of you can comprehend, and some only read this with immediate confusion and even a flicker of unfavorable impression;nevertheless,I believe that we all dream of salvation, redemption, peace…of heaven even here on #earth because we all have hopes and goals,chased or ignored.It is our purpose to look forward to happier beginnings so we can go back to paradise we’ve been told we came from and only when we choose the good, do the good and SEE the good can we return HOME.If you want to consider the “bad”, yes! It’s the “opposite of the light” taunting and daunting you so you will surrender to its darkness but please, this is the best moment to look at things as the Higher Power’s test how adamant you are when it comes to fulfilling what drives you to reaching your higher self!Just because it’s not safe anywhere doesn’t mean you stay shut and immobile, get out, the world is for adventures.Just because they say the end is near doesn’t mean you end your quest for bliss, every single day is full of forever! Just because people punish and kill doesn’t mean no one can be trusted and no one deserves forgiveness, an act of strong compassion always makes a HEART beat. Just because atrocity is omnipresent and viral doesn’t mean TRUE LOVE is hard to be found, what isn’t easily attained is always worth the fight! 

Do not decorate your own deathbed by giving up living.Remember that everything is a test of #FAITH.

-Infinitely,Nicola An

“The Universe at Heartbeat” by Nicola An [Poetry Book]

buddhism, creative writing, literary, literature, mainstream, poem, poetess, poetry, popular, spiritual, Uncategorized, words, writer, writng

 

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“a testimony made through poetry and prose that tells a young journey of an old soul conveying love as the utmost life of the universe; this book is ours”

Link to purchase: Shelf

Preview of the book: BOOK TRAILER

NOTE:

While I’m working on my final requirement to publish in paperback, I also make my first poetry book available in kindle . To those who wish to have a company in times of self-discovery, fighting for their dreams, having a hard time loving and even in times when they are the hopefully hopeless romantic type, I am one with you all. I bleed words for you. The universe is always with you whatever that journey you’re leading on your own!

Much love and gratitude,

Nicola An

 

The Tougher Question

creative writing, literary, literature, poetess, popular, prose, psychology, Uncategorized, writing

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When we encounter people we’ve never seen in a long time or when we get to talk to a specific person we trust the most [usually a best friend] after a busy day, sometimes the first question that comes from them is “how are you now?”. Of course you may breezily say “I’m fine.” to keep a light conversation, it could be a lie if you are silently choking on it but at some point of your life you can say it with truthfulness if you go on fighting albeit the constant struggles.

In the past years of being all broken, you probably prayed that at the end of the tunnel your light will be that honest answer of you saying “I’m fine.” Finally, after overcoming the throes of depression and forgiving yourself, it must be your proudest moment having to see that light. But just when you knew you had passed the test, it turned out that it wasn’t the hardest one yet.

Suddenly life threw you a question if you are happy. At a loss for words, it’s as though you were brought in front of an empty white wall and you were told to try to read what wasn’t even there, you just stared and held your breath.

Here is the thing, it is quite a dilemma especially when the ego detects a challenge; to make it easy for you you will respond “yes, I am happy!” even if something inside you is holding back but then you will come out real and admit that you are not happy because you just realized it’s unbecoming to pretend. The good news is you don’t feel weak and ashamed at all after admitting, and you shortly comprehend that what you meant was “I’m not happy but I’m not miserable anymore.” If unhappiness before was like wanting to die right away, today it’s just as simple as taking a nap to de-stress.

Just because you are now a better person than you were does not mean you should always completely give the assurance to yourself that you are away from the monsters that lurk at every corner of the world. Overcoming depression is about being brave enough to accept the dark phase of life, it is knowing and understanding that perennial sadness can be a blessing, it is a rare strength you could ever acquire.

Being unhappy doesn’t always mean you are losing hope, sometimes it is this comforting thought: “life is hard but I am still alive.”

 

-Nicola An