“The Poems I Wish to Write About You”

creative writing, literary, love, poem, poetess, poetry, words, writer, writing


These thoughts in my heart are plenty
unlike those words that run on empty-
the poems I could only wish to scribble
that often merge into a puzzle,
stashed among unread books for days,
lackluster hours they solely embrace

A sprig of chrysanthemums seeking attention
from my idle stare and frozen intention

These papers are lying flat and frowning
like these words huddled, brooding 
Perhaps they're streams resisting gravity
'cause the ocean may not consent serendipity
I might begin another story that hides in fiction
and reluctantly drug myself with disillusion 

The poems I wish to write about you
are letters imagining your sweetest beam upon receiving
Oh, I am this anxious poetry tethered to daydreaming

“Limbo” by Nicola An

buddhism, creative writing, literature, poetry, prose, self-awareness, self-love, spiritual

Sometimes, I feel like I have run away far from myself with a one-way-ticket decision, my footsteps unheard like my muted words I arduously fumble for that even my treasured dry blossoms look flat-out useless in my sight. All the universes seem to be just sleeping inside me- a disconcerting silence ringing.

But this is the very moment I realize that you can only give yourself the space and time to recuperate and grow when you detach from you, by learning that you can be more than everything you’ve known about yourself. Just because you have come to shed another layer of yourself doesn’t mean you have gone astray.

You can’t always stay as a bird in a cage when you can actually fly. Feeling lost is not a setback, it’s a timely opportunity of seeking so you can let go of your invariable idea of who you are, don’t just color yourself with one hue when there are millions you can dare try.
Be patient with this emptiness and quest, it’s always worth waiting for yourself if you put your faith in the many ways you can flourish and shine once again.

-Infinitely,
Nicola An

Standstill

affirmation, buddhism, creative writing, Esoteric, love, photography, prose, self-awareness, self-love, spiritual, twin flames, words, writing

I hope that in every interval when you are in a standstill, your thoughts follow suit, that your mind remains undisturbed and you will only feel the cosmos vibrating in your core with the highest frequency of LOVE. That when you lie in bed at night with the same silence, you are filled with appreciation instead of resentment and anxiety so the moment you wake up the next day, the voice will be a peaceful prayer of gratitude inviting your abundance. Keep at it until it becomes a healthy normal habit.

-Nicola An

“Sink or Float” Poem

art, creative writing, literature, love, mainstream, poem, poetry, Uncategorized, writing

I always love taught by the ocean
However,I question the longevity
For this isn’t as deep as the
current that helped me propel when
life at its worst fell
As my heart then learns what
choice to keep
” to sink or to float?”
.
He may be as fancy as a brand
new glistening boat
Such sight in thought reminds me
of the BALMY breeze and WARMTH
for free
I’ve been feeding my own depth
selfishly to drown for another
selflessly
This, a point of resolve to stay
on the surface, my body in
EFFORTLESSLY ways
Floating and fairly breathing
Because now I’d rather look
at LOVE in the most precious
grinning SUN up above –

IMG_20180922_181154_694 art & poem by Nicola An

Aloneness

creative writing, literary, literature, love, photo, photography, poetry, popular, prose, spiritual, writing

Getting on with life through moments and chances, seeing and feeling what is necessary and what is provided, gladly taking in everything that is already there and yet glimpsing at an occasional episode of a disquieting thought like a shrill of warning piercing you inside. By and by, some things make an abrupt landing on your shoulders, one is when you surrender to the realization that what if what you have been greatly mastering leads you to failing, your comfort ccollapsing?


Such is the case for someone who has continuously earned the solitary days. Along the journey of finding bliss in solitude, getting so used to both inner and outer self while allowing the HEART to beat and the SOUL to search, I am bound to fear the confidence of aloneness, that this being all composed and distant where I stand still appreciating the gloom, I might miss what’s waiting for me behind the fog; which part of the world I must tend and nurture because as long as the skies whisper, there is somewhere that asks me to listen.

Life is always so clever teaching that what you highly gain turns out to instigate your pitfall. Maybe I have been too much at healing myself, I have forgotten that to love myself more is to manifest that love where it also belongs

– Nicola An

Cosmic Love

art, creative writing, literary, literature, love, poetess, spiritual, words, writer, writing

“I am not dreaming, I am not fantasizing. I am opening all the doors and windows to my Soul as my heart is mending and gaining wisdom from my higher being. Here I sit down in the coziest, most peaceful niche of the Universe where there is a pure understanding of the physical world. I have not forgotten about you, in fact, I get by with the thought of you silently catching me before I get down on my knees; of you not leaving while I often walk alone. I can hear you, see you through synchronicity​ and esoteric patterns calling my attention. You are like a ghost though I must say it utterly amazes me how you exist as an energy, fervent yet calm and gentle. Know that I am grateful for telling me we are always one despite being apart. What is here on earth is for my evolution, to remember that we are more than fairy-tales and romantic companionship. You’ve been my magic for helping me realize my truth. We are apart but this Divine Love has come to undress me of my human needs,I am all stars now made of yours. I am a massive light made of you”
-I N F I N I T E L Y,

NICOLA AN
Only Love Only Light

A Whisper of Positivity 

buddhism, creative writing, literary, literature, love, poetry, prose, spiritual, words, writer, writing

If you are weary, scared and shattered, I hope this can help:
Acknowledging that there is Oneness,it’s impossible not to empathize, it’s real frustrating, affecting a feeling of being so powerless. I’ve been trying to make every tragic news fall on my deaf ears but the more resilient you are, the more you get pushed and the last straw is when the “opposite of the light” is well aware of your weakness, it takes one incident to eventuate your fall. Sometimes the way to the light is quite wobbly, I won’t sugarcoat spirituality.It is a SILENT BATTLE UNSEEN. I know that some of you can comprehend, and some only read this with immediate confusion and even a flicker of unfavorable impression;nevertheless,I believe that we all dream of salvation, redemption, peace…of heaven even here on #earth because we all have hopes and goals,chased or ignored.It is our purpose to look forward to happier beginnings so we can go back to paradise we’ve been told we came from and only when we choose the good, do the good and SEE the good can we return HOME.If you want to consider the “bad”, yes! It’s the “opposite of the light” taunting and daunting you so you will surrender to its darkness but please, this is the best moment to look at things as the Higher Power’s test how adamant you are when it comes to fulfilling what drives you to reaching your higher self!Just because it’s not safe anywhere doesn’t mean you stay shut and immobile, get out, the world is for adventures.Just because they say the end is near doesn’t mean you end your quest for bliss, every single day is full of forever! Just because people punish and kill doesn’t mean no one can be trusted and no one deserves forgiveness, an act of strong compassion always makes a HEART beat. Just because atrocity is omnipresent and viral doesn’t mean TRUE LOVE is hard to be found, what isn’t easily attained is always worth the fight! 

Do not decorate your own deathbed by giving up living.Remember that everything is a test of #FAITH.

-Infinitely,Nicola An