creative writing, literary, literature, poetess, poetry, popular, prose, spiritual, Uncategorized


Hello gods and goddesses of Love! As I promised to my adamant heart, I am sharing a FREE DOWNLOAD of selected pages from “The Universe at Heartbeat” entitled “Love in Light” as a pre-Valentine’s day giveaway, I couldn’t find any better way to celebrate it with you. Hopefully I can touch hearts. TO DOWNLOAD: . You are also free to share it to your loved ones and friends if you wish to!!! Or if you want to give it as a simple gift to someone special!!! Believe in Love, thank you and stay inspired!

Nicola An


Christmas Wish

buddhism, creative writing, literary, literature, love, photo, photography, poem, poetess, poetry, spiritual, words, writer, writing

A #christmaswishlist : WORLD PEACE. Though you may say it’s a folly to wish for it and it’s a swollen righteousness of oneself to ask for it, I would still dare affirm that we can achieve it. Let’s not only talk about the ceasefire, the safety from mass killing and freedom from slavery, let’s look at our basic destructive ways of how we mostly live now which commence the torrent of violence and torture. We are oblivious, in denial as we subconsciously refuse to acknowledge our involvement in wars and ruins. The oneness of our existence despite the diversity aims to nurture the world;therefore, we connect in every aspect,every phase and every form. This is a wish for #worldpeace through the end of your resentments-our anger and collective defensiveness to generate #love and eliminate spite. Remember that you are an #energy, a contagious and influential force, be an #energy of peace! The #earth is a vulnerable thing, it yields to what you offer. 

Merry Christmas, have faith in your #light 🌌 🌌 -Yours truly,Nicola An


creative writing, literary, literature, love, poetess, poetry, prose, spiritual, words, writer

Who was I but a clumsy child in love, tripping and falling down on the ground, watering the poor grass with tears made of defeat and hopelessness. Days and nights were both a total blackout when I used to stare at the sky and the moon and the stars had a torturous sight of melancholy that made all my smiles unreachable.

I always thought that the greatest love was to feel and endure it for someone who didn’t have the clue about it, that waiting for years was the best to remain in pain, I never ever saw that there was something more powerful. All those desperate days of looking at a distant horizon was not just a dream of a far away destiny but a searching for the beyond.

How beautiful, how supernal it is to suddenly find yourself by seeing someone you didn’t realize you’re looking for but felt a sense of coming back to where you just left and what you’ve forgotten all this time. Like your eyes laid on such view of existence and you can hear your voice in your head asking “where did I last see you?”, it’s as if there’s just a brief interval before you met that person once again. 

You even wonder why the hell they’re pulling your inside and you told yourself “if only we knew each other but maybe we should really know each other”, at a single moment of something you vaguely identify is stirring up and you cannot quite settle down with the present reality that you’re not together, that there is a brewing madness in you oddly resenting your separation and differences- you know the face before you even learn the name. 

It’s when you catch a butterfly scene and you want to chase it until it flies back to you because it’s supposed to happen even if it is a new type of a butterfly in the meadow you had not seen before, then in a tiny blink it seems to be the one you’ve always had the pleasure of watching albeit hardly remembering when.

I’ve always construed that love was just a troubling and confusing condition of the heart, the enormous palpitations, and now it’s all clear and wide-open to me that it’s the soul’s journey of returning home, taking back what was lost many lives ago.

To be too broken was to be vulnerable so you could be receptive and resilient enough when the right path knocks on your door no matter how frightening the circumstances will be because even what’s right will have flaws and drawbacks.

They say you cannoy love someone when you do not love yourself but sometimes you just instantly and finally find that someone whose existence grandly inspires you to love yourself more than you ever did before even if they aren’t doing anything-an effortless pouring of grace.

One day, the sun shines brighter, being brand new and full of life. You may wonder and ponder until you rely on the possibility that LOVE truly is a mysterious phenomenon you simply accept and be your infinite faith.

This is just the beginning…
-Nicola An 

“The Universe at Heartbeat” by Nicola An [Poetry Book]

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“a testimony made through poetry and prose that tells a young journey of an old soul conveying love as the utmost life of the universe; this book is ours”

Link to purchase: Shelf

Preview of the book: BOOK TRAILER


While I’m working on my final requirement to publish in paperback, I also make my first poetry book available in kindle . To those who wish to have a company in times of self-discovery, fighting for their dreams, having a hard time loving and even in times when they are the hopefully hopeless romantic type, I am one with you all. I bleed words for you. The universe is always with you whatever that journey you’re leading on your own!

Much love and gratitude,

Nicola An


Forgive Yourself

creative writing, literature, prose, words

Every single day, forgive yourself for your wrong choices, for the risks you never took, for the tasks you failed to accomplish and for the love you never had the courage to tell. Be aware that the wrong things have to happen no matter how good and right you are in life, the wrong things are always the messenger of your beautiful days, enough blaming yourself, enough thinking you are the worst, give in to the bad times and make peace with your mistakes. Do not hold a weapon against yourself. Sometimes the war ends when one decides not to fight anymore.

-Yours truly

Valentine’s Day 2016

love, Uncategorized


How much do you love and how do you understand love?Do you really have an answer?Do we really have the answers to the confusions and mysteries love ties around our emotions and thoughts? Who are we to master love? We are just flecks on the face of the universe, we are just an existence like tiny dancing particles inside a glass jar which is love. Who are you to speak of the most powerful as though you can draw a line from its beginning to its end?Love, love disappears when you claim to understand it; it is an ocean alive in your heart, it is indeed an ocean. Imagine if it’s only made of shallow waters, it is no longer an ocean. Love being an ocean, you have to dive in and get drowned, yet when you get drowned, you won’t reach its bottom still. Of course we know love but it refuses to be understood that is why we are all going through it but always asking and looking. Sometimes it is ridiculous when we blame love for our tragedies and longings never realizing they’re part of the journey how we get on with the nature of love. We fall, we get back on our feet. The bad has to happen as much as the good for us to keep seeking with hope because that’s the gift of love-a never-ending path of hope.
-Yours truly

Nicola An

Please do not ask me how much I love you, it would be my most meaningless mistake to give the right answer.


buddhism, creative writing, Uncategorized


The absence of desire is the emergence of true wealth; maybe it is like trying to understand a conundrum to believe that the best way to our greatest treasure is when we devoid ourselves of wants and whims, but it is one of the highest attainments we could ever reach. We are always after something, we depend our fulfillment and reasons to live on these things that we lack not realizing that chasing them is what intensifies the lacking. Let go of the aching, of wanting so much. Anyway we eventually move closer to another fear, the fear of losing when we begin to own. Simply appreciate what is present, love everything and turn away from the thought of loss and hunger, you aren’t really there. You belong where there is nothing to strive so hard for, where you do not slave away because you are meant to be the master of your realm.

-Yours truly

Nicola An