“The Poems I Wish to Write About You”

creative writing, literary, love, poem, poetess, poetry, words, writer, writing


These thoughts in my heart are plenty
unlike those words that run on empty-
the poems I could only wish to scribble
that often merge into a puzzle,
stashed among unread books for days,
lackluster hours they solely embrace

A sprig of chrysanthemums seeking attention
from my idle stare and frozen intention

These papers are lying flat and frowning
like these words huddled, brooding 
Perhaps they're streams resisting gravity
'cause the ocean may not consent serendipity
I might begin another story that hides in fiction
and reluctantly drug myself with disillusion 

The poems I wish to write about you
are letters imagining your sweetest beam upon receiving
Oh, I am this anxious poetry tethered to daydreaming

Poetry: Personal Commitment by Nicola An

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Poetry is a personal commitment, and even more than that and for a poet to abandon poetry is death. I confess that I almost extinguished that fire in me, one time I just thought of forgetting about my scribbles,journals and random prompts. The truth is, the past months, my words were kind of lost in translation whenever I started to feel the need to write them down because maybe I had been confused as life turned a new leaf. Two years ago,a major shift took place in my Spiritual journey, Love being silent but not quite lenient,thinking about it now,it seems as though it happened like a second ago. The Universe just did everything needed to save me from the false dreams I couldn’t wake up from, they were just shadows leading me to return to my true light. It was grueling having to break again, to accept the disappointment and let go, close a chapter and so I felt crippled inside. The changes caused me to clear my thoughts and wipe my stained heart clean as I was beginning to see even wider horizons.Then came a year when I had a professional pursuit to fulfill that I had to lay off creative writing, and given a special day, 5th of July last year,I succeeded in that pursuit which called for a major adjustment. Days,weeks and months went that I was juggling responsibilities/priorities while I was working on myself as synchronicities arrived intensely. It was exhausting to feel yourself in different places that you wish you can hibernate.I couldn’t write anything the way that should please me because although I was whole, I felt drained, my words were stranded somewhere. Fortunately, Love is love and you can never run away from your heart.I believe awakening being a constant process, it will always come to a period of redesigning and rebuilding you, you know there’s always room for something new. Now, thank you for being there in my life, thank you for allowing my heart to beat. Here’s to a lifetime of poems!

-Infinitely,
Nicola An

“Brightest One” Spoken Word Poetry by Nicola An

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CLICK TO READ AND LISTEN TO FULL POEM: “Brightest One” by Nicola An

“I grew up staring at the stars, not knowing

which one was the brightest until I saw you that

all the stars I look at now are the brightest

because looking at one is also seeing you”

spokenword

“Healer” A Prose Poetry by Nicola An

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“Healer”

Just when I thought I’ve forgotten the scars I took in my flesh and my shadow from yesteryears, a clean start looks like it is about ready to be tainted. I’m afraid I’ve been so used to getting hurt, I’ve acquired an incurable addiction to heartache

The qualms that deter for it’s clearly presumed that remembrance is time’s gift whether we like it or not, gone does not mean forgotten

As my heart sings again, an echo of its previous songs remains in the background but should this be about what I try to hear again or what I audibly hear at the moment?

The world says you can’t love again unless your heart has completely healed but isn’t loving again the only way to heal a pained love?What if it’s the right person you prayed for, you don’t need to appear all new and sound that maybe only in these moments of living loving you do I get the complete healing I deserve?

Now I understand why I still felt broken no matter how I greatly took care of myself. Like a true love’s kiss made to break a curse, maybe you’re the exact antidote to treat my heart, the healer that Love wanted me to wait for…[hopefully]

-art and words by Nicola An

“Sink or Float” Poem

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I always love taught by the ocean
However,I question the longevity
For this isn’t as deep as the
current that helped me propel when
life at its worst fell
As my heart then learns what
choice to keep
” to sink or to float?”
.
He may be as fancy as a brand
new glistening boat
Such sight in thought reminds me
of the BALMY breeze and WARMTH
for free
I’ve been feeding my own depth
selfishly to drown for another
selflessly
This, a point of resolve to stay
on the surface, my body in
EFFORTLESSLY ways
Floating and fairly breathing
Because now I’d rather look
at LOVE in the most precious
grinning SUN up above –

IMG_20180922_181154_694 art & poem by Nicola An

FULL “Flower” MOON

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Wednesday #poetry, back for this month’s #FULLMOON: “Flower Moon”

Oh Watcher of our Souls

fumbling for the Light,

May your bloom rescue

this blighted and sore heart

hiding in the night

Teach me more and better

ways to trust and decipher

the complexities and

travesties in the Universe

Help my Faith in these wished

things to Grow even without

my eyes to witness and my

hands to control

Guide my thoughts,my emotions

and my Spirit in the chasm

breathing with the shadows

underneath the earth

as I wait for my season to

completely flourish,

to wake up to the sight of

the Meadow I’ve been dreaming

and painting on the stars
Infinitely,

Nicola An art & poetry

Sunset Viewing 

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Out of the blue, a voice from the cheery spirit of me spoke inside my head as I recalled one late afternoon. I was consumed by the vague, distant beginning at the end of my eyes’ perspective. Now here, I’d like to listen to that positive side once again ;this feels like I have all these small boats to make the view less empty, that perhaps there is progress and things probably start to emerge; however, I can sometimes remain impatient for when does my ship show it sail?- this can make me sick, seeing the same small boats when I’ve been waiting for my ship that I would rather not hope anymore when the clouds are so hazy.But the voice pulls me back: ” you may storm away with repetitive disappointment but dare to consider that if you turn your back on that horizon now, you might miss the view when your ship finally arrives and it ends up not catching up with you.” 

-Nicola An