Out of the blue, a voice from the cheery spirit of me spoke inside my head as I recalled one late afternoon. I was consumed by the vague, distant beginning at the end of my eyes’ perspective. Now here, I’d like to listen to that positive side once again ;this feels like I have all these small boats to make the view less empty, that perhaps there is progress and things probably start to emerge; however, I can sometimes remain impatient for when does my ship show it sail?- this can make me sick, seeing the same small boats when I’ve been waiting for my ship that I would rather not hope anymore when the clouds are so hazy.But the voice pulls me back: ” you may storm away with repetitive disappointment but dare to consider that if you turn your back on that horizon now, you might miss the view when your ship finally arrives and it ends up not catching up with you.”
Yesterday,I was overflowing with mirth being able to run some errands across the island without having the pain of fighting for a consent, been blessed to be working for a boss who also encourages capabilities not only as an employee but as an individual.
It was a spontaneous task but it was a grand idea I fully accepted. While traveling alone is almost a mundane routine to some, to me it was a rare opportunity; being the youngest sometimes feels strangling when trusting your growth to be independent lags behind, it is understood that parents can’t easily let go especially when you become the “last one left”-this teaches me to no longer resent.
But for whatever reason I made it yesterday, thank you for that one day, freedom isn’t wanting to run away at all, it is returning to existence, solitude is the only path to true consciousness, sometimes you just have to walk your own footsteps then you’ll be surprised ’cause only when you walk alone you can pay attention.
Never knew that it was possible to just wander without feeling lost, to exist without fears. Thank you,thank you,thank you!
I know that sometimes-or perhaps right now-the thought of somewhere on the other side you call “a better place” gives you the sole comfort, as though running away is always the answer. You look at the yonder horizon and wish for someplace else where no one knows you and everyone has sweeter words that are always music to your ears, where things hurt less and everything won’t be out of hand and against you,where you can stroll around or even run blithely without having to feel like you are a scene unwanted,where people have eyes to see your soul and not to look at how incorrigible the flaws you wear,and most of all where breathing and following your heart will be equally easy. Sure, there is a dream of an idyllic life, we always ask for the better, you hate it here because you don’t belong here so there must be a right place where you should be. You feel like a captive now in your own present life because you are still here and freedom seems to be so far away- these are all because you just want to escape.Do not cheat on your fate. Do you know why you are here?
Because everything is already here, you are here because you belong here. Where you are is where you belong and where you are called to serve the world, even the aged tree knows it stays where it was planted because for decades it remains as the nearest tree where people run to whenever it rains.
It’s the process of life not only for yourself but for others as well.
Wanting to be away from here to be “there” is the torture, you are half present and half absent. No one can walk properly with feet apart.
We do share the same amount of affliction and misery that the fragility of our being remains the center of our focus and obsession while getting on with the flow of life.
But like us humans, every other existence has a vulnerable life, nothing in the creation is excluded from the oneness of souls. Maybe we’ve all become so self-absorbed that we always have the idea of misery and abandonment when we are inundated with our own triggered troubles and insecurities that we’ve missed to remember we are also called to care for our Mother who shelters us all.
Can’t you picture the frown of a dying stream? Doesn’t it excite you to see the water moving?
I hope we’ll all commit to a hobby of taking care of the earth the way we nurse ourselves when our souls are in drought.
I am a rain person, in fact I’m one of those who do not get fed up with photos of the raindrops against a clear glass.
Rainy days are sweet despite the gloom; they make you feel like you’re deeply cared because they seem to understand your untold stories inside. They go along with your suppressed tears [excuse that this sounds poetic].
Being at home while I receive no announcement from school yet needing our pending thesis requirements, I bask in the weather and no place is more appropriate than home when it rains. Here I am actually in my room doing random stuffs while silently brooding.
However, I do not enjoy rainy nights especially when it’s a typhoon rain. Come to think of the night being dark and the rain is too loud, it’s quite a dread picture. Also I think I have this trauma because it’s one of my childhood nightmares when it rains heavily at night, reminiscing the typhoon experiences we had.
Now here you go typhoon Lando. My province is quite fortunate we don’t always get the damage these days, but I received a text message from my friend living in the different region. No electricity there and there’s a flood already.
Good Lord, I implore that no pre-Christmas tragedy shall befall again. My country had been through a lot of misfortune and tribulation due to typhoons.It’s heartbreaking when too many families will have their Christmas mourning.
Send help Holy Spirit!
After missing home for two weeks, thank the heaven I got to do this today. Nothing feels comforting than nature’s breath.
The blue that doesn’t feel blue