Old Pages

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Perhaps today’s the right day to dump my keepsakes of that “old deepest feeling” or of the time when I was attached to the sadness for that feeling.
I realized those stuffs will keep appearing and I’ll just reopen the wounds which didn’t make sense anymore.
So today I burned those little works of sentiments I had,the diaries most of all. It was not easy to let go of those old stories of me, of my innocent heartaches because that person’s been with me, she’s like a friend I didn’t want to see leaving. Only that the old person must be the burden weighing me down; so long as she’s there she’ll only keep hauling me towards her.
When I burned the stuffs,I admit I felt bad because it was an act of destruction but I felt good because it was freedom!
I read some pages before the fire and I ached not for the reason why she wrote them, I ached for the person who wrote them, the weak young girl who didn’t have an idea how to get through the smothered nights. Then today I watched her leave,I watched her in ashes, she’s now free and didn’t have to stay here to suffer.

-N

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Bedroom Sacredness

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Grateful for the kind rain this afternoon, I got to feel the serenity of everything around me and did a little yoga.
This certainly is my room, this,where I always belong. I think a room is more than just a four-walled enclosure, it’s your universe, it knows and understands you very well. This, the only place that’s been keeping your secrets and witnessing your mysteries. Perhaps this is why bed time always feels like going home despite the fact that it’s actually a part of home. Well, I guess a house is the palace and your bedroom is your throne.
See here it’s as though I praise/hail, guess it’s my own soul I try to summon.

-N