Just when I thought I’ve forgotten the scars I took in my flesh and my shadow from yesteryears, a clean start looks like it is about ready to be tainted. I’m afraid I’ve been so used to getting hurt, I’ve acquired an incurable addiction to heartache
The qualms that deter for it’s clearly presumed that remembrance is time’s gift whether we like it or not, gone does not mean forgotten
As my heart sings again, an echo of its previous songs remains in the background but should this be about what I try to hear again or what I audibly hear at the moment?
The world says you can’t love again unless your heart has completely healed but isn’t loving again the only way to heal a pained love?What if it’s the right person you prayed for, you don’t need to appear all new and sound that maybe only in these moments of living loving you do I get the complete healing I deserve?
Now I understand why I still felt broken no matter how I greatly took care of myself. Like a true love’s kiss made to break a curse, maybe you’re the exact antidote to treat my heart, the healer that Love wanted me to wait for…[hopefully]
-art and words by Nicola An
I always love taught by the ocean
However,I question the longevity
For this isn’t as deep as the
current that helped me propel when
life at its worst fell
As my heart then learns what
choice to keep
” to sink or to float?”
He may be as fancy as a brand
new glistening boat
Such sight in thought reminds me
of the BALMY breeze and WARMTH
I’ve been feeding my own depth
selfishly to drown for another
This, a point of resolve to stay
on the surface, my body in
Floating and fairly breathing
Because now I’d rather look
at LOVE in the most precious
grinning SUN up above –
art & poem by Nicola An
[Am I like one of the Cherokee healers in one of my past lives? ]
The other night before sleep, I randomly thought of reading about herbs and did not expect to read something great about uses of flowers particularly blue hydrangeas, the next morning I was surprised when we went to my sister’s house and I saw a bunch of blue hydrangeas! What’s even more special was the fact that I had been having a constant thought of blue flowers.
To every Spirit Warrior facing an endeavor:
I think it’s okay to be both frightened and erratically excited, and that amidst the faith and self-confidence, there is still room to be unstable. What can you do, you are living in this body made to be vulnerable, breathing on this planet that even its own surface is prone to destruction. But perhaps the best part of the challenge is to still go with the flow, to remain flexible, unpredictable; sane or insane, happy or sad,dreamy or lifeless, healthy or unhealthy,stern or effortless. I mean, it’s a lot harder when you resist. We are made of countless variables of the Universe to limit ourselves, to judge our tendencies. I guess it’s much prettier to know and believe that it is OKAY no matter what it is, no matter what you are, no matter where you are, no matter where you’ll be, one thing’s for sure: life eventually leads us to where we’re needed just as long as we surrender to the unknown, having faith in the unknown because after all, we don’t really know what we’re capable of, we are made in infinity’s womb
Be patient, you will rise soon, as all the heavens and nature’s bosom await for their child’s birth, glancing at the sky for the first time as though the sun beaming is a promise of a lifetime with nothing but eternal light
-yours truly,Nicola An
Getting on with life through moments and chances, seeing and feeling what is necessary and what is provided, gladly taking in everything that is already there and yet glimpsing at an occasional episode of a disquieting thought like a shrill of warning piercing you inside. By and by, some things make an abrupt landing on your shoulders, one is when you surrender to the realization that what if what you have been greatly mastering leads you to failing, your comfort ccollapsing?
Such is the case for someone who has continuously earned the solitary days. Along the journey of finding bliss in solitude, getting so used to both inner and outer self while allowing the HEART to beat and the SOUL to search, I am bound to fear the confidence of aloneness, that this being all composed and distant where I stand still appreciating the gloom, I might miss what’s waiting for me behind the fog; which part of the world I must tend and nurture because as long as the skies whisper, there is somewhere that asks me to listen.
Life is always so clever teaching that what you highly gain turns out to instigate your pitfall. Maybe I have been too much at healing myself, I have forgotten that to love myself more is to manifest that love where it also belongs
– Nicola An
Abundance, not in having less but having enough and having enough is having whatever it is that is present, whoever it is with you there right now and simply allowing a whole of you to be there as well.
Stay grateful and be full, you have everything that is needed for you this time, take it to be more open to what’s coming next.
Happy Holidays precious Souls!
Love more 😁