She knows it’s all over, the waiting and the hoping, and where she is now makes the moving on easier.But there are still those times when she can’t help herself rolling back the years just to see if how much of the lonesome feeling had eventually took the flight into the void. Like looking at the sand on the palm; you watch the grains slowly slipping away, she has to make sure she’s all free of the burden.
Because maybe until now she fears that part of her still holds on to the past, that her other foot is still stuck there since it’s an irrevocable truth that her history will always be her ghost.She fears because she knows there is that shadow of her there she would never want to carry ever again and because in there she can somehow feel the palpable loss and the weakness making her small.
But they say love is a choice and your fate is written on the course you desire; the best thing now is she truly sees where she wants to go and she chooses to pursue the path that leads there, that despite the sudden relapse and occasional reminiscence she has a better vision and a better place for her heart to stay.
Though truth be told she is not certain enough of the direction she’s going, she knows that her faith in it had saved her and it made her believe once more. She had come to see how her life had really become life, and most of all she didn’t just find herself, she did find the right person in her that the one she lost was just a mere facet of her existence. Now she blooms like a paradise that does not run out of beauty and light, she knows she’s in a much better place and perhaps it is the home that used to be so distant from her, it still is a surprise to her that she finally opened the door to it.
So to the first star that didn’t fall- the first love she never had,it’s been nine years. It was her great pleasure staring at you out of her reach-it’s how she learned not to make the same mistake of just staring at the little fainting light for she realized she deserved the sun ahead and she’s on her way to follow it.